I arrive fatigued from a lengthy day of plane travel and head straight to the pool deck at our resort located on Waikiki Beach.
With each step I take closer to my destination of a magnificent chunky teak chaise lounge chair (draped with the softest cotton cover in a shade of perfect winter white) I am trying to embrace a new persona.
I am doing my best to let the harried, grouchy traveler that was me since 4:00 am dissolve into a new me = a tropical breeze embracing goddess of Hawaii.
To help change my mindset from drab to fab I have changed from a sensible travel outfit of beyond stretchy pants, most comfortable undies, top and wide shoes into a new outfit purchased just for this transformation occasion. It is called “Resort Wear” and I have seen these outfits on various Real Housewives episodes.
Basically, instead of wearing the usual over-sized t-shirt over my basic black one-piece and basic black flip flops, I have purchased a Pucci-style printed, long, breezy cover-up over a swimsuit that although black, has gold tone embellishments and carefully pleated “sucks-it-all-in lycra” across my mid-drift. I am wearing over-sized sunglasses a la Jackie-O. Perfect!
I am working so hard to look the part so that I can begin to actually feel the part. I have even put on sparkly silver sandals that show off my newly painted cherry red toenail polish.
Yes, I am feelin’ it.
I am a cat – ready to pounce- claim my throne.
The new chiffony cover-up blows in seductive waves across my legs as I walk – no stride, no glide as slinkyly as possible to the chaise lounge that awaits me beside the sparkling infinity pool. Ahhhh. Meow baby!
As I recline, my face- like a flower needing the warmth of the earth, looks up to the caressing Hawaiian sunlight. I am beyond relaxed. This is simply divine. The whole scene can only be topped with the addition of a tropical cocktail. And poof! A perky server arrives with one with my name on it…a Lava Flow = a dream of a pina colada with oodles of strawberries and extra rum.
After indulging in the perfect thirst-quencher, complete with hibiscus flower and pink drink umbrella in a generously portioned glass, I decide to try out the pool.
Channeling my best Charlize Theron, I saunter into the beckoning blue liquid of our hotel infinity pool, cool music pumping through the speakers.
And that, my friends, is when my dreamy and most perfect, long-awaited vacation in paradise comes to a screeching halt. (Cue scratching of album on turn-table)…
A boy in massive goggles, rubber straps pulled too tight around his large noggin and flapping in the wind, jogs up to me in the pool and exclaims “You did it all wrong lady!”
I look down at this creature that is splashing me with ice cold pool water and respond eloquently with a squinty “What??”
He proceeds to point to the neighboring hot tub and claims “You’re supposed to start in the hot tub first. Get hot and then jump into the cold pool like this!”
Yup, he crawls into the hot tub, dunks his entire body and goggled head into the depths of it and then proceeds to jump from there into the pool…to my horror I see a tsunami of cold water pushing forward towards me as I frantically try to get out of the way. Did I mention I am holding my second lava flow? I am the Statue of Liberty …arm raised so high trying to save my nectar of the gods drink.
But alas, I am not fast enough. The boy’s gargantuan wave gets me and undoubtedly adds more than of splash of chlorine to my drink. I make quite the boo-boo face as I witness my little pink umbrella quickly bob out of sight down the side of the vanishing infinity pool.
Where are this child’s parents???
I peer over my Jackie-O glasses at the creature smiling wildly at me with a feverish, almost crazy Jack Nicholson grin. “That, lady, is how it is done.”
I turn and leave the pool as an attractive Brigitte Bardot type; perfectly coiffed bun on her blonde head, wades past me, oh so carefully, into the cool water to escape the heat of the midday sun. She is poised near the edge attempting a sultry selfie with her smart phone and gives a little gasp as the brisk waves of the pool hit her as she wades deeper… I hear the kid’s voice “That’s not how you do it lady! You have to get hot first!”… I don’t turn around to see the carnage of her bun or phone…but head back to my chair.
Isn’t ironic, like an Alanis Morrissette song, everything can be so right until it goes oh so wrong.
The spot-on setting can often be marred by an unexpected, unwanted thing.
Another such occurrence happened while visiting Pearl Harbor. The place is a must-see when visiting Oahu. The memorials are extremely moving. We were in a dark museum watching a solemn film about the day Japan attacked Pearl Harbor and the subsequent entry of the U.S. into World War II. The tragedy of it all was heavy in the air. I was feeling particularly drawn into the story as the film recounted the fate of fallen heroes that died that day. We all seemed riveted even though we knew the outcome of the film.
{Ring, Ring, Ring!} “Hello?”
A tourist answers his phone and begins a conversation as if the rest of us in the room aren’t even there. He continues despite the glares from others trying to watch and listen to the documentary.
Only after someone tells him point blank to stop talking on his phone, does the man leave the auditorium.
I am thinking “Way to ruin the moment dude. How can you be so oblivious?” The perfect solemn setting recounting such an important day in history was marred by the intrusion of a loud phone conversation.
As the saying goes “Stuff happens.” and frankly, that is just the way of the world isn’t it? As I have gotten older, I have really become better at letting go of the disappointment when an unwelcome whatever wrecks the scene that was up to that point “perfecto”.
Call it Murphy’s Law or just bad luck, but there is in fact no escaping these moments that bring us down. Although we can’t escape it, we can choose to go forward. A little down-time to be annoyed is acceptable but then I need to snap out of it lest it ruin everything….
So I am happy to say that despite the loud phone-talking tourist and annoying goggle-head boy, I was able to get over my irritation and reclaim the day the way I wanted to spend it.
My family and I perused the Pearl Harbor Memorial at our own peaceful pace for the rest of the afternoon taking in the rich history of the area. And back at the hotel, I was also able to reconnect with my inner Hawaiian goddess. The pool after all was still beckoning. And although the sun had gone down, the twinkling of lights in the pool and on the bar were calling me.
So I went to the bar. No– I glided to the bar and pointed my perfectly polished finger to my drink menu choice, certain that this was the nightcap with my name on it. And when it appeared before me in all its splendid perfection I took a slow savoring sip and reveled in my surroundings. It was, in this moment, divine. Ahhhh… Purrrrr…Meow….
You are so adorable. I love the descriptions you create. I was totally there at the beach with you in my mind!
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Hawaii is the best place to show off your true feline persona!
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