Music to my ears! I just got a text: “ FYI we made it to the hotel safe and sound”.
You see my sons are on a long road trip from California to Denver, a 1300 mile journey with so much promise of fun adventure and brotherly bonding. This is a once-in-lifetime, responsibility-free joy ride. Woo Hoo!…What mother wouldn’t wish such an exciting experience for her sons. Hmm…Err…Uhmm…
Or possibly could it be a bad idea? Or maybe a really bad idea, complete with car malfunctions and navigational errors that send the two into an off road fight for survival among southwestern desert canyon-dwelling mutants?
When did I become such a PATHETIC worry-wart?
The second I gave birth.
Sheesh…really, this is so unhealthy, not just for me but for my kids. I know I need to set an example that I trust them and not go into: over mothering- tiger mom- snowplow parent – cuckoo pants over the small stuff –mode.
Honestly, now that they are 22 and 20 years old, I am letting go. (as much as possible) Here is a recap of moments I succeeded in this letting go business, during the last couple of days before they took off on their trip.
“Hey Mom! Our first stop this evening on our 20 hour road trip to Denver is going to be Las Vegas!”
What I say:
“Why that is a great idea! How beautiful! You will drive into a shimmering metropolis in the desert with all those dazzling neon lights flashing through the coming night sky around sunset–Just when the city really comes to life”.
What I’m really thinking :
“Why that is a dangerous idea! How risky! You will drive into “Sin City” targeted by come hither blinding lights and loose women that beckon you to make all kinds of bad choices at the end of the day when you are tired and should just go right to bed”.
“Hey Mom! Aleks says he is up for hiking in Zion National Park the next day. We are going to attempt one with pools of water at the base of a canyon where you can walk under a waterfall and it’s pretty safe as there are only a couple of drop offs from the narrow trail due to spring flash flooding and mudslides.
What I say:
“Why that is a great idea! What fun! You will be able to get in some exercise in beautiful mother- nature and that will be perfect for breaking up the long hours of time you spend driving during your trip.”
What I’m really thinking:
“Why that is a dangerous idea! How risky! You will be hiking in 100 degree temperature after a night of debauchery in Las Vegas. You are sure to get heat stroke, drop off a cliff and get chomped on by a pissy rattlesnake that wanted to share the coolness emanating from the slippery waterfall trail you are hiking whilst half asleep and hung over.
O.K. so you get the picture. Although I am trying to stay cool as a cucumber about things, I am in fact a two-faced liar at times. But at least I am working on it.
“Why?” you ask. “Why does it matter if you worry about your sons?”
Because although a smidge of worry is normal, a lot of worry is paralysis of living.
And mostly I don’t want them to become worry-wart parents when it’s their turn.
I truly believe that energy spent worrying zaps the energy you need to enjoy and value your time on this earth…and we really don’t know when that time is over, so I plan to try to be less of a handwringer about my almost full grown sons and just let-it-go more.
Because, the more I let go, the more fun everyone has – including me!
Be that as it may. I am still a less-worrying work in progress. I do plan on going about my coming days and evenings focused on the positive and not tied to my phone waiting for the next text message update from the boys…Because another thing I have discovered is that waiting on a text from my sons is like watching for a pot of water to boil. It is not going to happen when I am staring at my phone. So I am gonna keep busy…Thus, I am writing my blog…and hark what could that be?
But the glorious sound of a message received from my phone. And what the…
I look down and see a photo of a tattoo parlor that has seen better days…HA. HA.HA. They really know how to get me. Hmm…Err…Uhmm…
They’re kidding right?